I Have a 42″ Little Man Who Has Mastered the Poker Face

So my 4-year old has taken on the role of an impressive little liar.

I was discussing this newfound behavior with a friend who has a 4-year old daughter.  He said that he can always tell when she is lying to him because her eyes dart around and she can’t look at him.

Not my little guy.  When I ask him if he is lying, or if he is being honest he plays the game well.  He gives full on eye contact accompanied by the most incredulous look as if he is thinking “I can’t believe you would even question me”

We were at my parents the other day.  They were going out to dinner with friends, and it’s tradition that they rotate hosting after dinner drinks and dessert.  This time up my parents were the hosts.

On the counter lay a very delicious looking pineapple upside down cake.  Fresh from the oven yet to be topped with cool whip.

I was upstairs and came down to the kitchen to see Noah standing in the middle of the room.  His eyes dart from the “cake” on the counter back to me.  “Mommy can I have a piece of that cake?” he asks in a voice as sweet as I bet that cake tasted.

Something about the look on his face, or perhaps the way he asked prompted me to ask “Noah did you put your finger in the cake?”  Mind you, I hadn’t even looked at the cake yet.

His eyebrows shoot up, immediate eye contact.  “No mommy, no, no, no.  I did not put my finger in the cake.”  All the while his arms moving emphatically as if to be backing his statement.  Now if he wasn’t my son, and I didn’t know that my son LOVES anything sweet, I think i would have believed him.

But as I have told him many, many times.  Mommies know EVERYTHING.

And yes we do.



I shot a compound bow, and I am pretty sure I am going to take up archery

ImageSo for awhile now I have had it in my head that I want to shoot a bow and arrow.  Dream fulfilled yesterday.  I march into our local bait and tackle shop with my friend who is awesome enough to let me use his compound bow.  Mind you he is 6 3′ and I am 5 6′ I am wearing a dress because it is freaking hot and I don’t really know what you wear to shoot a bow and arrow aside from camouflage, and my closet was fresh out of that kind of clothing.

So I waltz in like a giddy kid and these people just look at me like “this could be a huge disaster.”  I started to wonder if it could be a huge disaster.  I asked a lot of questions to my friend about if this was a “closed” range, because I am highly uncoordinated, and do not even allow myself to play darts at the bar because my aim could maim or blind someone across the room.  Yes it is that bad.  Terrifying in fact.  So in the “tunnel” which I am happy to say was inclosed completely, they have fluorescent lights on the ceiling.  I have visions of me blowing out these lightbulbs creating a scene.

I also realize you don’t just pay for the “tunnel” but you pay for the arrows, the tips all that stuff.  I mean sheesh I could fashion a bow and arrow myself for cheaper than that. Like I said I am crafty.  As we are looking through the aisles they have deer urine (disgusting) and the most disturbing hollow point tips that frankly are terrifying.  They explode in their target and look very scary.  I am way over my head here.

Did I mention that he got this compound bow when he was 12?  We are now 30.  So there I am so excited to “do this.” I go to pull back the string and I can’t even freaking do it.  It is made for a 12 year old!  Huge fail.  So each time I go to shoot he has to help me pull it back.  I’m like” jesus christ how many pounds is this to pull back?” I jokingly said it’s probably like 30 lbs.  He looks and says it’s actually 31.  Mortified.  My kid weighs 42lbs and I can carry him in one arm.  It was actually 50 but I obviously need to get some serious fitness on.  Anyways he would help me pull it back and I got to shoot it and not going to lie I am pretty damn good! I kept it on the paper target except for once, and now I am obsessed.  I only shot about 15 arrows before my arm was starting to shake just from holding the bow up.  Made for a 12-year-old my ass.  I want to go everyday.

I highly encourage people to try this out.  If hunting is your thing that is fine, but I most certainly have no intentions of ever aiming at anything live.   I want to continue to target shoot, and need to get a compound bow that I can actually handle myself.  Without getting manhandled, which I can’t say I actually minded 🙂

Off to do some bicep curls.  Have a great night everyone.